Lesson 8: Platonic Love
I don’t have feelings for him in that way.

I can read and understand an advice column about platonic love.

INTRODUCE

It’s helpful to read advice columns to find suggestions or solutions for a specific problem.

PRESENT

STEP A EXPRESSIONS

I. Go over the expressions with your tutor.    

    1. To think of someone as something means to consider someone in a particular way.

     

    I don’t have romantic feelings for him. I think of him as a little brother.

     

     

    2. A male/female friend refers to a friend who is not your boyfriend/girlfriend.

     

    I have a lot of female friends.

     

     

    3. To have feelings for someone in that way means to have romantic feelings for someone.

     

    I don’t have feelings for her in that way. I just want to be friends.

     

    II. How do you feel about your best male/female friend? Use the expressions above.

     

STEP B PRONUNCIATION

When one word ends in t and the next word starts with a consonant sound, the /t/ is often dropped.
Phrase Example

that way

/ tha-way /

She said she doesn’t have feelings for him in / tha-way /.

UNDERSTAND

READING

Kelsie is reading an interesting advice column.

Ask Miss Lovely

Awkward Around Andy

 

Dear Miss Lovely: My male friend Andy and I have been friends since elementary school. Now, we’re working at the same company, so we eat lunch together almost every day.  All of our coworkers insist that we’re in love, but I don’t have feelings for him in that way. They say men and women can’t be friends. But I only think of him as a friend. I like him, but I don’t like like him! Now, I feel awkward whenever we’re together. What should I do? – Troubled Female Friend

 

Dear Troubled Female Friend: Are you sure you only have platonic love for your male friend? Think about this: If you don’t have romantic feelings for him, why do you feel awkward around him? It may be because of your coworkers, but it could also be because of new feelings for your male friend. It’s not unusual for love to suddenly bloom in a long-term friendship.

TRIVIA

Do you know the difference between like and like like? In this case, like refers to a friendly feeling, while like like refers to a romantic kind of feeling. So the phrase I like him/her, but I don’t like like him/her means that you like the person on a platonic level but have no romantic feelings for him/her.

like
like like

PRACTICE

STEP A EXERCISE

The underlined expressions are close but not quite correct. Correct them.

  1. Victoria is too young for me. I think of her by my little sister.
  2. Martin is my males’ friend.
  3. I’m not in love with Thomas. I don’t have a feeling for him in that way.

STEP B EXERCISE

Choose the correct expressions in the parentheses.

1.

Tutor:  Does Vincent like like Wendy?

Student: No, they’re only friends. He doesn’t (think of her as a sister / have feelings for her in that way).

 

2.

Tutor: What’s Helga’s problem? She’s been kind of strange recently.

Student: I think she’s falling in love with her best (male friend / boyfriend).

 

3.

Tutor: Are you interested in Matt?

Student: No, I just (think of him as a friend / have feelings for him in that way).

CHALLENGE

Challenge 1

You and your friend are relaxing at a café together. Read the online advice column. Then, tell your friend about it.

Today's Expressions

  • think of someone as something
  • a male/female friend
  • have feelings for someone in that way

Love Guru to the Rescue

In love with My Best Friend

 

Dear Love Guru,

I think I’m starting to like like my one female friend. We’ve known each other since high school. Back then, I didn’t care who she was dating. But now, I feel jealous whenever she has a boyfriend. I’m really confused about my feelings for her right now. Does this mean I’m in love with her? – Confused Male Best Friend

 

Dear Confused Male Best Friend,

Sometimes people confuse platonic love for romantic love. Platonic love is about caring for someone you are close with. It’s normal for a person in a platonic relationship to have a strong attachment to the other person, but this doesn’t always mean you’re actually in love. Are you possibly just jealous because your best friend has less time for you when she’s dating someone? Think carefully.

Challenge 2

Discuss your ideas.

If Time
Allows
1

PLATONIC LOVE
2

ADVICE COLUMNS
3

MALE/FEMALE FRIENDS
1

PLATONIC LOVE

  1. Do you think it's possible for a man and a woman to just stay friends?
  2. Which is more common, platonic love or romantic love?
  3. Can platonic love last for a long time?
  4. If your friend like liked you, but you didn't have feelings for him/her in that way, what would you say to him/her?

2ADVICE COLUMNS

  1. Are advice columns popular in Japan?
  2. What kind of problems are commonly written about in advice columns?
  3. Do you trust the advice in advice columns?
  4. Would you like to have your own advice column?

3MALE/FEMALE FRIENDS

  1. Are you comfortable with having friends who are the opposite gender?
  2. Do you have a lot of male/female friends?
  3. Is it okay for married people to hang out one-on-one with a male/female friend?
  4. What's the best thing about having a male/female friend (ex. fun shopping, help with home repairs)?

FEEDBACK

I can read and understand an advice column about platonic love.

LESSON GOAL ACHIEVEMENT

  • 4
    Very Good

    Could complete the task with ease

  • 3
    Good

    Could complete the task with some clarifications

  • 2
    Fair

    Could complete the task with additional instructions

  • 1
    Poor

    Could somehow complete the task with difficulty

PERSONALIZED FEEDBACK